Does the phrase “pool party” create anxiety or dread? If the idea of BBQs and bathing suits makes you wish you’d stayed on your diet all summer, then consider this:
Maybe you’re not a failure at dieting; maybe dieting has failed you.
In this episode Dr. Nina explores ideas about failure and success, and how that influences your measure of yourself and your self-worth. When you feel successful, you’re more likely to feel good about yourself in general – and when you feel good, you’re not as likely to turn to food for comfort or escape.
She reminds listeners that if you fail at something, that doesn’t mean you are a failure. After all, the “u” in failure is not spelled Y.O.U.! When you personalize the failures in your life, you feel bad about yourself. The failure becomes a character flaw, instead of a situation that didn’t work out.
Dr. Nina gives examples of very successful people built their success on the steps of failure, such as Michael Jordan (who lost many games, and many shots), Steve Jobs (who was fired from Apple), Oprah Winfrey (who was fired from her job as a TV reporter) and Thomas Edison (who unsuccessfully tried for years to invent the light bulb).
She suggests that if you’ve been dieting to lose weight, then you haven’t failed at dieting; dieting has failed you. That’s because diets deal with food, with WHAT you’re eating, and not WHY.
Consider why you want to eat. Are you lonely, upset, or helpless? Are you happy and this is the only way you know how to celebrate? Are you rewarding yourself? Punishing yourself? Avoiding something painful or upsetting? What’s going on?
Dr. Nina proposes a new way to think about success. Instead of dieting, try responding to your thoughts and emotions in a new way.
When you can identify and process what’s going on inside – the emotions, conflicts and states of mind that are hard to be with – you won’t need food to distract you from those things, and that’s how you lose weight for good.
And that’s how you win the diet war!